In October 2022, Dr. Olivia Arden Sacks’s professional life as a surgical resident was consumed by long hours, an academic paper, and thoughts about her rotation. But amid all the hard work, she had a moment of clarity: Anika Lynn Bieg was the person she wanted to marry.
Such precision is “how I make decisions,” she said. “If you have a profession like surgery, you have to be definitive in your decision-making, and I don’t like to overthink things or get anxious.”
When Dr. Sacks matched with Ms. Bieg on Bumble in August 2021, after the end of a four-year relationship, she viewed the experience as “practice.”
Ms. Bieg, on the other hand, swore that this would be her final attempt at dating for a while. She was feeling drained by dating apps. “I think my exhaustion was from the lack of effort that other people put in,” she said. “Olivia was the first person whom I didn’t have to carry the entire conversation with.”
After chatting for two weeks on the dating app, the two met for drinks and snacks at Toro restaurant in Boston’s South End neighborhood. Dr. Sacks initially was not excited about the date. “It was raining that day, and I remember her running into the restaurant from across the street,” she said. “And when I saw her walk in, it felt like everything slowed down in the restaurant.”
They ended up talking for three hours. “It’s the only conversation I can’t remember in my life,” Ms. Bieg said. “I was so present.”
There is, however, one moment neither could ever forget: 10 minutes into their conversation, Ms. Bieg kissed Dr. Sacks. “I was really shocked that she was in front of this woman who was seven years older than her and was so confident,” said Dr. Sacks, who is 35.
“My cheeks were hurting after this date,” said Ms. Bieg, 28. “We were smiling and laughing and just riffing off one another’s banter.”
About four months into their relationship, Ms. Bieg knew she was in love when Dr. Sacks, who is Jewish, hosted a Christmas party for her and her friends. Christmas had long been a sore spot for Ms. Bieg since her father died around the holiday when she was 13.
Ms. Bieg was touched by the effort. “I felt so lucky to have somebody who saw me and showed up for me, even though we’d only been together for four months,” she said.
Shortly after Dr. Sacks’s decision, to propose to Ms. Bieg, she asked her mother, Patty Sacks, to help her go vintage ring shopping in Cambridge, Mass.
On Dec. 8, 2022, at Twin Farms Resort in Barnard, Vt., she surprised Ms. Bieg with that ring and a proposal. Four months later, during an engagement photo shoot, Ms. Bieg also asked Dr. Sacks to marry her.
Ms. Bieg is a senior associate, investor network at Ceres, an environmental nonprofit organization. She graduated from Saint Michael’s College in Colchester, Vt., with a bachelor’s degree in economics and environmental science and Boston College with a master’s degree in applied economics.
Dr. Sacks is a surgical resident at Boston Medical Center. She received a bachelor’s degree in English literature from Dartmouth College and a medical degree from Dartmouth Medical School. Before becoming a surgical resident, Dr. Sacks lived in San Francisco and had various occupations, including working as a yoga instructor, in a coffee shop, and in marketing.
When it came time to plan a wedding, Ms. Bieg was fine with the idea of eloping, but Dr. Sacks wanted to have a joyful celebration in a nontraditional way.
“I think when you’re queer, it’s hard to think about and have a heteronormative structured wedding because gay people have been systematically excluded from weddings for the majority of my life,” Dr. Sacks said. “I knew that I really, really didn’t want a traditional wedding.”
On the other hand, she did want a fun party. “I felt like the marriage is for us, but the wedding is for our families,” Dr. Sacks added.
First, there would be a legal ceremony in Boston on Feb. 9. They settled on a Jewish ceremony and ketubah signing, led by Rabbi Jen Gubitz of Boston-based Modern Jewish Couples, at the Four Seasons hotel because it would be logistically less complicated than making a trip to the Boston courthouse with Dr. Sacks’s schedule. (Dr. Sacks performed lung surgery the day before, and worked a couple hours the morning of the wedding.)
On Feb. 10, they held a wedding celebration for 200 guests at the Boston Public Library with a number of surprise elements. “I definitely wanted to keep things more hush-hush,” Ms. Bieg said of the details.
The wedding planner, Stefanie Cove & Company, and library staff kept guests in the grand staircase for five minutes before opening the doors. Everyone rushed in, unsure of what to expect.
“Traditionally, there is one man on one side of the aisle, and the daughter is walking down the aisle,” Dr. Sacks said. “We didn’t think any of that felt very true to queerness in general because there’s no giving away of a woman to a man in a queer relationship.” She added, “we were trying to create a union between ourselves.”
“The most traditional part of this wedding was that we let our mothers have a lot of say in the guest list,” Ms. Bieg said jokingly.
Inside the Guastavino Room, the couple exchanged vows under a huppah carried by family members.
After the vow exchange, there was a cocktail hour, where guests enjoyed a raw bar and passed martinis and cucumber margaritas. Dinner was served in Bates Hall, the main reading room.
The couple’s choice of the Boston Public Library, already filled with books and art, was an organic way not to have wasteful décor, said the couple, who feel passionate about sustainability. The table decorations included eggplants, artichokes and herbs that guests could take home. The name tags were bookmarks so guests could reuse them.
A 12-piece band played music until midnight, after which a D.J. took over until 2 a.m. There were tarot card readings and the Bumbys — a masked performance art duo — rated people’s outfits in live time on their typewriters.
Their relationship works, Ms. Bieg said, because “I think that we were both formed people.” She added, “I think a lot of relationships that start young, people end up dating when they haven’t figured out who they are as individuals yet. But Olivia and I had both really found ourselves before we met each other, and then we were able to grow together.”
On This Day
When: Feb. 10, 2024
Where: The Boston Public Library
Surprise Yoga The morning of the celebration, Dr. Sacks and Ms. Bieg treated about three dozen guests to a morning yoga class to add a sense of calmness for the surprise wedding celebration ahead, saying they couldn’t imagine going through such a significant life event without practicing yoga beforehand.
Dress to Impress For the wedding celebration, the brides both wore Danielle Frankel. “We loved her collections, I wanted to make sure that Olivia and I matched well together in white — neither of us is the black suit-wearing type,” Ms. Bieg said. Dr. Sacks appreciated that Danielle Frankel had wedding-worthy looks that were non-dress options, “I always say my gender is female but not dress,” she said.
Attention to Detail Whimsical elements included butter sculpted in the shape of legs, which proved to be a crowd favorite. Additionally, they scattered pink disposable cameras throughout the space, allowing guests to capture special moments.
Sumber: www.nytimes.com
